YOU can change – A message by an inspiring Mom – Dr. Balpreet Arora

Change is life, Each phase of life has to change. But, Before changing, each phase becomes the lesson for life. Yes, We are back with one more story of a mom who inspires, motivates and helps many with her “You can change” initiative. She has given a new meaning to life. She has fought all the odds in her life bravely and now she is helping others to win their battles. Dr(Mrs.) Balpreet Arora a Doctorate in social sciences having rich experience of 21 years of working in banking, education, research, and training sector. Dr. Balpreet Arora from Ahmadabad is a Founder director of You Can Change who has been struggling with chronicle physical disorders by birth and despite all the odds has been fighting with all the limitations. Being a victim of depression for quite a while, she won this battle with great courage and emerged as a motivational speaker and helping others.

With a spirit of making everyday count in her life, she has achieved success in many roles by the age of 42. She has been a banker, an educationist, an Image consultant, a motivational speaker, a parenting counselor, a researcher, a writer, a poet, a soft skills trainer and an entrepreneur.

 

Dr Balpreet Arora please tell us about your motherhood journey? You became a mom after 13 years of your marriage, how was this journey of conceiving a child after so long and finally becoming a mother. What are the major changes that you have noticed before and after becoming a mom?

I have had a long journey so far that was full of ups and downs. From disappointments, hopes, failures to miracles, I had it all. Howsoever difficult the journey was, though the outcome has been more than beautiful and totally worth it.
Becoming a mother was a challenge for me as I have “not so normal” anatomy. Considering the fact that I had multiple medical conditions motherhood came in late to me though I always had my hopes high and conceived quite late in my marriage.
With 3 miscarriages and emotionally draining medical treatments finally, life knocked on my door and I got to know that I was expecting. Every passing day was a challenge. I used to look at the calendar several times a day. ! My medical history forced me to be on complete bed rest until my son was born in the 7th month. Having a premature baby and giving the best care to him was again a challenge though together I and my husband passed through the initial tiring months. Today we are proud of this 8 yr old child who made us parents and adds various colors and joy to our life.

Being a mother has changed my life completely. It has made me a better person and I love my life now despite all the challenges. Motherhood also changed the direction of my life and helped me find a new career and new reason to live. While enjoying small joys of motherhood, I was also facing new challenges each day. At times, I felt stuck due to lack of knowledge about how to raise a baby. Didn’t have anyone around to guide me, there was no support system. The need showed me a path, which I followed later on.
The success of my faith and positivism made me realize that I was very lucky to have an extremely supportive, husband who didn’t let me break down in my weak moments. But not everyone is so lucky to have people around them to support in their struggle. There are so many women out there facing depression, stress, lack of confidence and many other problems in life which I faced. That made me think about, conceptualizing and conceiving my second baby “YOU Can Change”.

Dr. Balpreet Arora you started your own venture “You Can Change” please share, some details about it? Why did you think about this and how was this born? What future plans do you have for the same?

“YOU Can Change” is an outcome of whatever I have been through and learning from that. My struggle was on many levels and some were parallel too. I had to fight against my physical limitations, medical conditions, tough circumstances, rough career, some unfortunate happenings, and moreover my individual shortcomings both personal and professional.
I worked on the ones which I could change for better and accepted the ones which I couldn’t. My journey of changing myself wasn’t planned or organized so it took me quite a long to reach up to the next level /a satisfactory level. I But, it gave me a philosophy to believe that “If you know what you need to change, just work on it and YOU can change!”

Finally, when I was blessed with a child, it was a sign for me to believe that “everything is possible” if you have a positive attitude. A constant feeling of helping others was growing with every experience. I worked around this philosophy and researched that what exactly a person requires to be happy in personal life and successful in professional life. That made me think, conceptualize and conceive my second baby “YOU Can Change”.

We worked on this project for 3 years before launching and when my son started going to play school in 2014, I launched my dream project “YOU Can Change”. Since then “YOU can Change” has been instrumental in changing lives of hundreds of people. We launched many programs especially for housewives as during my sabbaticals I could understand their pain of not having an identity. The programs are designed for enhancing their confidence level, giving them constructive ways to engage themselves, helping them to start their career if they wish to, motivating them to bring positive changes in their personality, guiding them for better relationship handling and empowering them by giving them knowledge about their legal rights and health. An overall approach of inspiring them to look good, feel good and be good is maintained in our every program.
We are also doing programs for the “would be brides and mothers” to help prepare them for their new role. We also try to help the girls who struggle with their self-esteem due to their physical appearance. We help them to be beautiful inside out. Every life which is transformed due to our programs encourages us further more.

Along with that, we have made a “Rise n Shine Club” for all the participants (including Alumni’s) and we try to promote them for various work opportunities within the circle and outside that. As an employer also we encourage mothers by giving them part-time work or work from home related to content development, marketing or designing.

We hope to continue this in future as well and are also launching special workshops for the mothers on sabbatical due to motherhood. In this program, we will provide complete guidance and support for bouncing back. We will be helping them in placement as well.

You were diagnosed with a health condition a few years back; does it make parenting difficult for you? Dr. Balpreet Arora shares her inspiring story here.

Life has never been easy for me and it keeps on challenging me and I take it as a compliment. If I hadn’t faced any challenges; I could have ended being no one and doing nothing. I am what I am today because of what life has made me and I am very proud of it. I have felt like a warrior throughout my life; fighting, getting wounded and defeated again and again. Yet I am thankful that life gave me the courage of standing up again to fight again and again. Some battles might not have ended with a glory but as we say “YOU never lose until you give up”.
Here I was with incomplete commitments, unbearable pain, a six-year-old demanding child, a growing company and a house to run with very little resources! I used to get injections to stand-up somehow on my feet to deliver training to teach people how to face challenges! The work started getting affected, no matter how much I tried. And, my dear husband was there again to rescue me handling everything and replacing me everywhere with a smile on his face!
Today I am trying to work on a cause with all my possible strength and limited resources. I am proud to say that I am a mother, a wife, an educationist, a soft skills trainer, a motivational speaker, an entrepreneur, an activist and a human being who has an eye for perfection , sympathy for every pain, commitment for every possible positive change, attitude for maintaining self dignity, courage to face day to day problems and determination for not to stop trying until I succeed!
With the strongest desire to make a difference in life of others, who might not be as lucky as I am to have such a supportive husband, to all those who might feel like giving up and couldn’t have courage to start again, to guide all those who have questions and nobody to give honest answers to, to those who suffer in silence just because they feel they have no other option, to those who want to improve themselves because they have equal rights to do so, to those who are not favorite kids of mother nature but have a desire to be so! I commit myself and am prepared to press “restart” button again and again in my own life too until I can!

Dr. Balpreet Arora you are a working professional and to be successful in both the domains business and motherhood you need support from family and friends. Here Dr. Balpreet Arora shares her suggestions to the family member of other aspiring Mompreneurs by her example.

Yes anyone who wants to go out of the house to work needs support. Since our society is quite adjusted to seeing a man as a bread earner and a housewife giving her silent and unnoticed support by running the house, taking care of kid’s education, buying grocery and even finances, nobody finds it exceptional. Women working and earning is also not something unusual anymore and has been widely accepted with all the benefits and fringes involved. However, a very small number of highly educated and well-placed women are living the life on their terms and enjoying their status after demanding support from their families and husbands.

Still, there are a large number of women who are struggling to prove their worth by handling both personal and professional life. They are given “conditional support” which can be withdrawn as per convenience. In my opinion, such women are not empowered rather they are more exploited and struggle on daily basis to balance between work and motherhood. Almost on daily basis, I have clients visiting with their wives to make them join our programs saying that now she can spare these two hours from her household responsibilities to learn English so that she can also contribute in family income. In such cases, I sense a close similarity between the attitude of an employer and a husband.

In such case, both I and my husband made a decision that since our son Daksh and the venture “YOU Can Change” (which I consider as my second child) is a shared responsibility both of us have to find a way to work out the best possible way. Today, together we both manage the house, work, and our son beautifully.

Since we never considered leaving the child with a maid or at a child care center, it looked like the best possible way. Also, we are making sure that we are giving our best attention and childhood memories to our son. It isn’t easy I must tell you, as because of this we have to commute multiple times, work for longer stretched hours and still with less productivity. I believe it is all about prioritizing.

I can understand that not every mompreneur can expect such support from husband or the family. However, I would say to the family members of such mompreneurs that if you really love her let her live her dream and passion. Working isn’t always about money, it has more to do with what you want to achieve and what you want to follow

5. Balance-Can you share your secret mantra. How do you make it work? Basically, how do you balance personal and work life considering the fact that you have a child and I am sure he loves spending maximum time with you.

I would say the word is not “Balance”, it is more about juggling and prioritizing. I just act as if I have two kids to take care of and both are equally important to me. In every situation, I try to judge who needs me more and spend my time accordingly. To do justice with growing needs of my son, I have kept my schedule different for every day. On some days I take more commitment and plan his activities according to that. On some days I come back early and sometimes take off on Saturdays. But as a thumb rule, I try to be back mostly by 7 and then spend quality time with him. We spend 1 -2 hours downstairs in our society, play cricket, football, hide and seek, everything and anything which he wants to do. Occasionally, we just go on dates, just both of us in a garden, gaming zone or to his favorite eating joint. Similarly, we have family time together on Sundays and also go for vacations occasionally.

There is a mutual understanding for running the house, as normally my husband takes care of supplies, and I get things done by helpers. Each day comes with its own fresh challenges no matter how prepared you were for them. And, moreover, these arrangements become irrelevant when my health issue arises.

I try to keep myself too in the list of priorities! If not daily, I take time out for myself whenever possible. Take time out to exercise, self-care, meditation and even a trip to a salon.

So, I am trying my level best to manage both the worlds.

Dr. Balpreet Arora advice moms who are trying to make a perfect life for their kids but feel that motherhood has put a full stop to their career.

As mothers we can completely ignore our own physical and emotional needs, we can leave our careers at peak, can commit ourselves to their education and career and I appreciate that decision. For me, there is nothing wrong in leaving a career for motherhood as I believe that if you are giving birth to a life, it is your responsibility to take care of that and do the best you can.

The only thing is that you shouldn’t forget yourself in the process of pleasing everyone. Don’t forget that with time circumstances will also change. After few years, your baby wouldn’t be a baby anymore, whom you need to look after 24*7, your toddler will grow out and would not like to be with you all the time. And later, when kids start spending more time in studies, their dependence on you will change. The kids will grow up and you will be left with a vacuum. Every passing year you will doubt your own decision and would feel the empty hand.

If it is just a sabbatical, then I would suggest them to plan their comeback even before pregnancy! They can develop an alternate career for themselves or can use sabbatical as a gestation period for any venture.

Meanwhile, they should engage themselves in some constructive activities; not just play dates and also spend some time for themselves. Once the baby starts getting independent they can explore working from home or on a part time basis.

I would definitely say that don’t take motherhood as a break in your carrier, rather take it as a valuable addition to your capabilities. Still, I would say there can’t be a generalization about everything as everyone has their own limitations and challenges. But, one thing is for sure common for everyone that whatever your limitation or challenges are they can’t be bigger than your will to overcome them. So, keep on trying the best you can!

I am thankful to you, Dr. Balpreet Arora for sharing your journey with us, it is truly inspiring and I wish you all the best for future.

I am sure her journey has inspired you. You can visit her website by clicking here to know more about her work.

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